Thursday, January 13, 2011

I Guess I'm No Longer a Horse's Behind

There's a new Zodiac symbol in town, and his name is Ophiuchus. According to a story published by Time, some trouble-making astronomers (not honest, hard working astrologers) in Minnesota of all places decided things were boring, what with all the cold and snow, and so decided to upend the astrologer's apple cart by noting that the current zodiac was a month off, and furthermore, there was a new thirteenth constellation to deal with, Mr. Ophiuchus.

Now, instead of being represented in the heavens by a creature that's half-man, half-horse, I get to be represented by a guy messin' with a big ol' snake.

Which, according to legend (as recounted by Time), may not be all that bad. According to Time's sources, Ophiuchus is based in part on two historical figures, Egyptian Imhotep and Biblical Joseph. Joseph I can deal with; Imhotep, not so much. After all, it was Brendan Frasier who showed us in "The Mummy" what Imhotep was; a wife stealing, soul stealing, flesh eating undead high priest who got taken down a few notches before being buried alive. Who want's to have to deal with somebody like that?

Perhaps some good will come of this. Maybe, once word of this travels around the hinterlands of Florida, I can finally get a decent astrological reading. And maybe I can finally win the lottery.

If only.

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