Skip to main content



If anybody ever tells you that all your parental responsibilities end when your children turn 18 has either never had children or never been a real parent. They may grow up and move out, but the bonds that develop between loving parent and child are never severed. Strained, perhaps, but never truly severed. Being a parent grows ever more difficult as your children grow older simply because they do become adults, with their own independent wills, dreams, and ambitions totally apart from yours. The best you can do is offer advice when asked, both sides knowing that the advice offered is from a different generational perspective, and the older generation realizing the younger generation may decide not to take that advice or modify it to suit the current situation. You can be there to help them the best you can when they need it. But if they don't ask for advice or help, then you have to stay out of their way, realizing that you don't have a complete awareness of their situation.

Mom and Daughter

I've come to realize that the best way to be a parent to an adult child is to give of my time and go to them when it's convenient for them rather than demand they come to me. When young adults are starting out they're incredibly busy and their money is stretched rather thin. That means they have neither the time nor the means to take numerous junkets to visit the parents as often as the parent (and the child) would like. Realizing this we've decided to go up and visit the girls on a semi-regular basis, when everybody's schedules can mesh.  It really works out best, as we get to see each other, and we get out of the house and travel.

Mother-Daughter Discussions

I've also come to realize that the younger daughter is reaching out to mom about adult woman issues. That's not to say I'm no longer loved nor appreciated; I am. But my daughter has reached another point in her life where she needs mom again, especially mom's insights. It's a good thing mom was an English professor for nearly 25 years. During that entire time she taught college-age students which, coupled with her unique innate abilities to understand young adults, is now helping both girls navigate some of the rougher patches in this part of their lives. If it sounds like counseling, it is only in the broadest sense. What is happening now is far more sophisticated and nuanced, as this is between two human beings who have grown up and grown older with one another. And I'm glad my wife is around, because I would be helpless in these situations.


  1. Wonderful article, thoughts, and photos Bill - thanks for sharing those, I really appreciate that. Oh, and your daughter is carrying an E-PL1; did she take any of you as well? I'm asking because when we visited an aunt lately and asked if she had any wish(es) for her birthday, she said: "A photo of you three". Then I realized that we don't really have any...

    1. Thank you Wolfgang. She was playing around with it Sunday morning while we were at Lake Ella on Monroe in Tallahassee. She took some of my wife and I, and my wife took some of my daughter and I.

    2. I see. Well don't forget to include yourself in the frame from time to time, or even to ask friends (like Jim, Kirk, or others?) to take a photo of all of you together. I was thinking about something like Laurence wrote in

      Thanks for the quick answer Bill,


Post a Comment

All comments are checked. Comment SPAM will be blocked and deleted.

Popular posts from this blog

A Decade Long Religious Con Job

I rarely write inflammatory (what some might call trolling) titles to a post, but this building you see before you deserves it. I've been seeing this building next to I-4 just east of Altamonte/436 and Crane's Roost for nearly 12 years, and never knew who owned it. Today on a trip up to Lake Mary with my wife I saw it yet again. That's when I told her I wanted to stop by on the way back and poke around the property, and photograph any parts of it if I could.

What I discovered was this still unfinished eighteen story (I counted) white elephant, overgrown with weeds and yet still under slow-motion construction. It looks impressive with its exterior glass curtain walls, but that impression is quickly lost when you see the unfinished lower stories and look inside to the unfinished interior spaces.

A quick check via Google leads to an article written in 2010 by the Orlando Sentinel about the Majesty Tower. Based on what I read in the article it's owned by SuperChannel 55 WA…

Be Careful of Capital One Mailings

Capitol One ("What's in your wallet?") sent me a bit of deceptive snail mail today. I felt sure it was a credit card offer, and sure enough, it was. I open all credit card offers and shred them before putting them in the trash. Normally I just scan the front to make sure I don't miss anything; the Capital One offer made me stop for a moment and strike a bit of fear into my heart.

The letter's opening sentence read:
Our records as of December 30, 2009 indicate your Capital One Platinum MasterCard offer is currently valid and active.Not paying close attention during the first reading, I quickly developed this irrational worry that I was actually on the hook for something important, but I wasn't quite sure what. The letter listed "three ways to reply" at the bottom; via phone, the internet, and regular snail mail. I elected to call.

Once I reached the automated phone response system, the first entry offered was '1', to "activate my Capital …

cat-in-a-box channels greta garbo

So I'm sitting at my computer, when I start to notice a racket in back. I ignore it for a while until I hear a load "thump!", as if something had been dropped on the floor, followed by a lot of loud rattling. I turn around and see Lucy in the box just having a grand old time, rolling around and rattling that box a good one. I grab the GX1 and snap a few shots before she notices me and the camera, then leaps out and back into her chair (which used to be my chair before she decided it was her chair).

Just like caring for Katie my black Lab taught me about dogs, caring for Lucy is teaching me about cats. She finds me fascinating, as I do her. And she expresses great affection and love toward me without coaxing. I try to return the affection and love, but she is a cat, and she takes a bat at me on occasion, although I think that's just her being playful. She always has her claws in when she does that.

She sits next to me during the evening in her chair while I sit in mi…