Saturday, August 06, 2005

A Car Wreck with Boobs

So writes Paul Clinton for CNN. And that's actually one of his kinder remarks. I knew this was going to be a stinker of a movie for the following reasons:
  1. The original was a stinker.
  2. Jessica Simpson.
  3. The trailers.
  4. Jessica Simpson (I may be well beyond the 18-34 age demographic for T&A, but I ain't dead).
Since I refuse to spend $8 to see this cinematic roadkill, I'll let the poor sods who have seen it speak to its quality.
The film's only redeeming feature is the end credits, which show extremely funny outtakes from the movie. Unfortunately, they come about 103 minutes into the 106-minute film.
Paul Clinton, CNN Online
The Puke of Hazzard
But the "meanness" of the movie is what truly ruins it... When will the movie industry come out of their bubble and realize that Americans aren't the bad-to-the-bone, morally corrupt characters that they portray every time a movie tries to "keep it real"...
Yahoo User Review
Looks like we got another Gigli.
I understand the formula Hollywood uses for making movies, I just don't understand why they use it. Take one hot chick that can't act, add a bunch of male leads that also can't act, throw in some actors that actually have talent for seasoning, stir and poor into the mouths of idiots dumb enough to lop it up.
Yahoo User Review
Got In For Free...And Paid Too Much!!
And Jessica - well, she's crossed the "Britney Line" now, and is a bona-fide slut. Pity. I'm even having issues with my boyhood idol, Willie Nelson, for being in this horrible movie. All I can say is, I hope he was stoned for the whole shoot...because I wish I would have been to sit through this piece of garbage.
Yahoo User Review
It's every bit as bad as you thought it'd be. Only worse...
None of this is fun. Not even the lowest-common-denominator kind of fun that explains high Nielsen ratings and huge opening weekends. Director Jay Chandrasekhar has added some third-rate raunchiness — smoking dope with college coeds for a T&A and drug-joke double whammy — that might be funny to a seventh grader. And the stunts are so-so — nothing we haven't already seen in "Herbie: Fully Loaded" or 28 years ago in "Smokey and the Bandit," the movie that invented the car-chase leap of faith.
Eleanor Ringel Gillespie, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
All hail 'The Dukes of Hazzard,' the absolute monarchs of horrid
"The Dukes of Hazzard" is hardly some routine bad movie. Rather, it's one of the elite, right up there with "I Am Curious ... Yellow" (1967) and Bo Derek's "Ghosts Can't Do It" (1990), in stiff competition for the lamest thing ever put on celluloid. Of course, that makes it, by default, the worst film so far of the 21st century, but to say that does little to acknowledge the ambition behind this project. Make no mistake, director Jay Chandrasekhar was swinging for the fences with this one. He was shooting for the millennium.
Mick LaSalle, Chronicle Movie Critic
And I think that just about does it.

No comments:

Post a Comment

All comments are checked. Comment SPAM will be blocked and deleted.

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.