Now the Iranians are after me.

First the Royal Bank of Scotland wanted to give me a large sum of money. Now the Iranians are trying to best the Scots. The Scots, cheapskates that they are, only wanted to give me 15 million. The Iranians want to give me 28 million. Isn't it a wonderful networked world we live in?

Dear Friend.

Assalamu Alaikum, My name is Abdul Saheed, a business man in Tehran - Iran. I have been diagnosed with Esophageal cancer . It has defiled [sic] all forms of medical treatment, and right now I have only about a few months to live, according to medical experts. I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I never really cared for anyone (not even myself) but my business. Though I am very rich, I was never generous, I was always hostile to people and only focused on my business as that was the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all this as I now know that there is more to life than just wanting to have or make all the money in the world.

I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this world I would live my life a different way from how I have lived it. Now that God has called me, I have willed and given most of my property and assets to my immediate and extended family members as well as few close friends.

I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul, I have decided to give alms to charity organizations, as I want this to be one of the last good deeds I will do on earth. I need help from a reliable and honest person I can trust in the name of Allah the merciful. Considering my present predicament and the political situation in Iran, I now seek your assistance to help me clear Twenty-Eight million US-Dollars (US$28,000,000.00) that I have with a recognize bank in Europe and I will want you to help me collect this deposited fund and dispatched it to charity organizations as I will instruct you to do.

I don't need any telephone communication in this regards because of my health and some of my relatives around me. I don't want them to know about this new development and with Allah the merciful, all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of my lawyer in Europe and I will also issue you a letter of recognition through my lawyer that will prove you as the next of kin to this fund base on my instructions. I want you to always pray for me and I have set aside 18% for you for your time. Please send a reply through my below email address with your full contact information for more private and confidential communication and note that any delay in your reply will give me room in searching for another person for this same purpose because you are the only person I have contacted for now. Please, inform me that you will act according to what I told you.

May great Allah be with you.

Mr. Abdul Saheed,
Tehran, Iran.
Email:abdulsaheed_iran@walla.com

Frankly, I don't know what's worse about this particular email: The sacrilegious use of the Lord for a scam, or the lame attempts to garner sympathy for the poor man with the incurable disease. A reality check here, folks: any individual with that amount of money will have already fallen under the watchful eyes of their country's tax authority, especially in Iran. And because of bills such as the Patriot Act, any movement of money larger than 10,000 will automatically trigger alarms and immediate government surveillance, especially coming from someone in Iran. But then I guess that if you send out enough of these scan emails, the law of averages is on your side: someone, somewhere, will actually be stupid enough to fall for it. And all it takes is a few suckers to pony up enough cash or other valuables to make this worthwhile.