419 from the FBI

Here's one from the FBI (not). Quoted in all its colorful glory for your reading enjoyment.

ANTI-TERRORIST AND MONITORY CRIMES DIVISION
FBI HEADQUARTERS WASHINGTON, D.C.
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
J. EDGAR HOOVER BUILDING
935 PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE, NW
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535-0001
4/8/2011

Attention:
This is an official letter from the FBI. it has come to our notice that bank of Nigeria has released 10,500,000.00 U.S dollars. To bank of America in your name as the beneficiary, By Inheritance means. The bank of Nigeria knowing fully well that they do not have the ability to effect this Payment through the United Kingdom directly to your account, used what we know as a “secret diplomatic transit payment” (S.D.T.P) method to pay this fund by Wire transfer. They have used this means to complete the payment and they are waiting for confirmation from you on your transferred funds; Secret diplomatic payments are not made unless the funds are related to terrorist activities.

The question i ask you is this, why must your payment be made in a secret transfer, if the transaction is Legitimate, if you are not a terrorist, then why did you not receive the money directly into your account? Why did you instruct them to use a coded means to effect your Payment? In the past funds like this have always been related to terrorist activities/money laundering, we do not want you to get into trouble as soon as these funds are credited into your account Because you might be innocent, which is my presumption for now, but you need to proof that you are innocent.

It is our duty to correct this anomaly before this fund is Credited to your personal account. F.B.I has stopped the transfer of $10,500,000.00 usd through a secured diplomatic transit account (S.D.T.A).that was used to wire this fund to you.note We oversee funds Transfer for the World Bank. So we advice you to contact us immediately, as your funds have been stopped And are being held in our custody, and until you provide us with the diplomatic immunity seal of transfer (DIST) document that accompanied your funds within the next 3 days. we will keep your funds in a suspense account

To proof to us that the funds you are receiving from Nigeria is terrorist/drug free and not proceeds from money laundering in connivance with the known corrupt government officials Of Nigeria. Failure to produce the DIST document, We shall have cause to impound the transfer and prosecute you for criminal offence, but on the contrary we will release your funds immediately we receive the DIST document. We have decided to contact you directly by email because of time as a major factor, Acquire the proper document as proof to show to us that you are The rightful person to receive this fund,

We want to certify the legitimacy of this funds you are about to receive. Note that 10,500,000.00 U.S dollars is already in Sherman Texas branch of the Bank of America now in your favor, but we have asked them not to demand from you your local bank account information, to do final crediting to you, because we need a solid proof From you before releasing the funds, to this effect, you are to  proof to us that what you are about to receive is legitimate by sending to us your Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer (DIST) document to certify that the fund is not for terrorism/money laundering. If it’s in your possession you are to Forward the documents to us immediately if you don’t have it let us know so that we can direct your where to get it.

This Documents will be issued from the Bank That authorized the transfer, so get back to us immediately if you don’t have the document so that we can direct you to a particular office where you can obtain the document. {Diplomatic Immunity Seal of Transfer document),

The DIST is very important. Because the DIST document guarantees you of the under listed

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60t it guarantees the Beneficiary Credit payment is Irrevocable
61h it guarantees the Beneficiary has full power to receive the funds without further scrutiny
62j it guarantees the Beneficiary bank can either be in USA/UK/OUTSIDE or anywhere the beneficiary is and can  receive his/her payment in any country of full residency
64t it guarantees the Beneficiary has cleared all bank protocols and validation has been authenticated 
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You should reply immediately with this needed document if you really want to receive your transferred funds we intercepted

ROBERT S. MUELLER, III
DIRECTOR
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF JUSTICE
WASHINGTON, D.C. 20535

cc: Canadian police association
cc: general intelligence department (GID)
cc: Asia pacific group on money laundering (APG)
cc: federal bureau of investigation (FBI USA)
hrt

I love the BIG RED HEADER at the start. That adds a touch of class, dontcha think? And all the little 'cc's at the bottom. In spite of the impressive nature of this email, I don't think old Bobby Mueller is one to mess with a mere $10.5 million. That's like seat cushion change for an organization like the FBI.

Looking at this a bit more seriously, I can't believe anyone would accept anything like this. I'm certainly not one to point fingers, but the grammatical and punctuation errors that pepper this email should be more than adequate to raise Big Red Flags in anyone's mind (as well as set your teeth on edge).

But it's a P.T. Barnum world these days, especially on the Internets.